My Wife Fell in Love with a Life Size Cardboard Cut-out of Ronan Keating

A clown has completed a college degree in mysticism, those close to him sneer at its usefulness in the real world.
His partner suffers abandonment issues while her mother and grandmother battle over the merits of Bowie against Presley and the daughter has her own tussle with gender identity, Buddhism and eating fads.
A recent convert to Islam pops up to offer his views on fate, while an Elvis impersonator takes notes and a full-size cardboard cutout of Ronan Keating silently observes.